Tanya Gold Tanya Gold

The Fable would do better as an American Psycho theme bar

It’s three floors high, two days old, and full of young lawyers dressed as Patrick Bateman

issue 22 February 2014

The Fable is three floors high and two days old, a monster newly hatched on the Holborn Viaduct; deep below is the valley of the River Fleet, which is genuinely fabulous, but absent from sight.

The Fable has the following interesting schtick — fairytales. The question, of course, is whose? Here, cries the PR nonsense, lie the breadstick fairies, who I thought were all dead and lying at the bottom of the Thames, poisoned or just killed by ennui. ‘Inspired by the wit and wisdom of Aesop, the fantasy world of fairytales and our spellbinding adventures around the globe, the Fable is a dynamic all-day bar and restaurant,’ it babbles.

Really? Does the City have any dreams left to monetise? I thought they had been stamped out by tax lawyers, but no; here you can consume a ‘Once Upon a Time’ Fable Party Package, which contains three bar platters or one party keg, or, worse, the ‘Happily Ever After’, which comes with a wheelbarrow of beers; an ending of sorts, but not a particularly happy one, unless your childish dreams are beery and horticulture-themed, both at the same time.

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