The etiquette of field sex

Field sex is, I believe, an experience that unites those from all walks of life. Whether it was a drunken fumble, a discreet teenage quickie hidden from your parents or a planned act to inject some spice into your waning marriage, plenty of us have felt the vulnerability of walking to the car with a muddy back, anxiously wondering if we’d been spotted by a dog walker. 

Admittedly, field sex etiquette isn’t something that I’ve put much thought into. But after Prince Harry’s older woman (two years older to be exact) laid bare her five-minute rendezvous with the adolescent royal, it got me thinking about the right way to do it. 

The California-based prince is getting a bit of stick over this story. Sasha Walpole, the now 40-year-old digger driver who deflowered Harry, described the 2001 encounter as a ‘five-minute wham-bam between two friends’. Charming. But it must be said that the prince didn’t help himself, having written in his memoir Spare: ‘She treated me not unlike a young stallion.