The dismal rise of the modern elopement

I didn’t realise how attached I was to the traditional British wedding — the whole messy, pricey, drunken business — until I discovered it was under threat. The new fashion is for elopement, just the happy couple, one or two friends and a photographer, all perched on the edge of some picturesque cliff or on a mountain top. It makes sense while we’re all social distancing, but I suspect the elopement trend is set to continue — and I think it’s dismal.

I first saw the signs when I asked a friend what he was up to this Saturday. ‘Oh, I’m just off to an elopement,’ he said. My immediate instinct was that he should call the police. I grew up reading Georgette Heyer — all child brides bundled into carriages at night by elderly earls — so for me there’s a fine line between elopement and abduction.

But 21st-century elopement, as it turns out, doesn’t mean running away, or dashing to Gretna Green — it’s essentially just a wedding free from extended family in some glamorous location.