‘Ping, ping, ping went the bell,’ sang my husband, making his eyes wide and jigging in his best imitation of Judy Garland, ‘Zing, zing, zing went my heart strings.’ The effect was horrific. And ‘The Trolley Song’ doesn’t go ‘Ping, ping, ping’ but ‘Ding, ding, ding’.
Everything else has been pinging, though. ‘Missing a holiday because you’ve been pinged can be a big disappointment,’ remarked the Daily Mirror, solicitously. The pinging in question is that of the NHS Test and Trace phone app.
Incidentally, the government has made a breakthrough in moral philosophy during this pandemic, distinguishing between should and must. ‘If the app tells you to self-isolate, then you should self-isolate,’ said the late health secretary. ‘But if an NHS Test and Trace contact tracer tells you, then you must by law.’ Must in this language is law; should is the kind of must that is not the law, such as that you should be faithful to your wife.
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