The desperate drive to be the next Tory leader

There’s a scent in the air around the Tory leadership contest. It is the whiff of desperation. The aroma of provincial ballrooms when the lights go up at midnight; or of the last few seconds before a firing on The Apprentice when a contestant butts in with ‘Can I just say…’ and Lord Sugar snaps: ‘I’ve heard enough from you.’

First to set the tone was Rishi Sunak, coached not to blink or move his eyes, which some PR adviser obviously still thinks makes a person look agreeable and approachable, and not like a double glazing salesman who must get this commission from a confused elderly lady or starve. He used this little film to assure us he is the man to stop telling us comforting fairytales, which is surprising for someone who loves chucking billions of pounds about like a tipsy auntie with a box of confetti.

Penny Mordaunt’s video was even worse, incorporating a statement of gossamer vapidity that informs us she is a pragmatist and an optimist, and what’s more – hold on, this is heady stuff – she has a vision.