The dark world of illness influencers

I have heartburn. I probably have heartburn simply because both my parents also had a lot of heartburn, and I have treated it the same way they treated it, with antacids. But lately, with all the sleep disruption and discomfort, I tried to get rid of my heartburn and regretted it. I didn’t talk to my doctor, however, because the last time I tried to schedule an appointment the earliest she could see me was in six months. Instead I went to the internet.

I was told to change my diet, so I changed my diet. Still had heartburn. I was told to cut out red wine, so I cut out red wine. Still had heartburn. I was told to add preventive measures such as lime juice, so I mixed lime juice with seltzer every morning. Still had heartburn. I let my osteopath dig her hand between my rib cage and apply so much pressure that it left a bruise, I tried intermittent fasting, I propped myself up with an extra pillow. I still had heartburn.

Luckily I had been here before with various discomforts and difficulties, so I knew the golden rule of how to use the internet to treat your own health problems: do not go on to the forums. I mean, I peeked, and learned that probably what I had was actually a ‘leaky gut’, which I am assured is a very real phenomenon even though I feel like if my guts were really leaking I would be dead. There were very expensive potions, very restrictive diets, and very invasive treatments to ‘heal my gut’.