The dark side of your local dog show

Over at the judging for Waggiest Tail, things were getting acrimonious.

‘That bloody woman,’ my new acquaintance muttered. We were sitting behind the rope barrier in the front row and had formed a bond over a serious injustice in Prettiest Bitch. ‘I’m pretty sure she threw this category three, four years back. I happen to know – for a fact – that she made her husband stay overnight in a Travelodge. Dog’s got awful separation anxiety. Husband comes to the park, sitting round the corner. Once the Waggiest Tail starts up, she texts him, and he appears in the dog’s eyeline. Dog starts wagging fit to bust. First prize. Disgrace.’

‘Surely not,’ I said. ‘You’d be surprised what people are capable of,’ he said.

All around the country at this time of year, in parks and fêtes, councils and parishes organise dog shows.