The ceaseless self-pity of cyclists

I know that all must have prizes in the Victimisation Olympics these days, but when I heard a bicycle-rider on Radio 5 Live this week complaining about being ‘dehumanised’ and ‘othered’, I really knew we’d reached peak woo-woo with the ceaseless self-pity of cyclists.

‘What’s the magic word?’ our mums used to ask us. Today it’s not ‘Please’ but ‘Mine!’ as various groups jostle for attention and funding. If you’re in a wheelchair I get your point — ramps all round! But it is ludicrous for those voluntarily on two wheels rather than forced to be on four to act all aggrieved. It’s pedestrians and drivers who need protection from them.

It’s the squeaky wheel that gets the oil and now the new Highway Code is accused of favouring cyclists, giving them the green light to ride in the middle of the road, to ride two abreast so they can have a nice chat about how awful those road-hogging motorists are and to ignore cycle lanes if they see fit. After feeding their delusions of adequacy, the Code reminds cyclists to be careful when approaching pedestrians, especially children, the elderly and those with disabilities.

Cyclists will continue their crazed colonisation of the streets, though. I must say the old and disabled pedestrians bit raised a wry smile, as I recalled my time working as a volunteer at a home for old blind ladies some years ago. We’d set out along the bustling main streets of our city, one on each arm, only for me to have to shove them roughly into the nearest doorway as some hulking brute drove a bike the size of a horse at us right there on the pavement. And this is Brighton, capital of the UK Green party, where cycling is a religion and cycle paths are everywhere.