The CAP doesn’t fit, so we won’t wear it — a family row clears the air

Nothing clears the air like a really good family row. Funerals can bring them on. Cousins and aunts, wives and husbands, even, say what they have long since thought and then think of something else to say. What with the nasty accident to Europe’s constitution, and the dawning recognition that the single currency may follow it, everyone can be drawn into the argument. Predictably, Jacques and Tony are blaming each other. It’s your fault, says Jacques, you and your precious rebate — we’ll soon fix that now. Oh, yes, Tony tells him, and what about your greedy farmers? That’s where the money goes. Cut back on the Common Agricultural Policy and we wouldn’t need a rebate. At this point, surely, a light bulb glows over his head. Who needs the CAP, anyway? Well, Jacques does, and the forces of organised crime in southern Italy, and the directorate in Brussels, but do we? Does it even keep our farmers happy? Do they look it? I’m told they’re not even allowed to supply their home market — once they get close to the target, they have to start pouring milk away — and as for their customers, on them the CAP works like a tax.