The burden of being a Newcastle United fan

The second thing I learned about football, after moving to London, is that you can never, ever switch your allegiance. That was unfortunate, because the first thing I discovered was that I liked Newcastle United and had already chosen them as my team. It’s been fairly relentless pain ever since. In 2016, I watched Newcastle get relegated. They bounced back to the Premier League the next season, but it’s been utter mediocrity ever since.

I’ve followed them from stadium to stadium, unwavering in my support, cheering on often extremely boring and disappointing football. I like the idea of loyalty in sports; to ditch a team because they depress you would show weakness of character. It doesn’t matter how awful Newcastle are, I thought, nothing could put me off.

Then blood money funnelled into the team a few weeks ago and now I’ll admit the burden of fanship feels unbearably heavy. It’s a bad sign for undying loyalty when you find yourself rooting for the other side: in my case, Crystal Palace last weekend.