The builder and I are done with Surrey

As he grouted the last tile, five years after the bathroom was finished, I knew the game was up.

‘I guess this is it,’ I said, as the builder boyfriend used a filler gun to bring about closure.

This single ungrouted tile where the bath meets the wall has been something of a symbolic fight between the two of us. It baffled and infuriated me until I simply gave up wondering and made my peace with it.

I plastered it with Hippo tape, thinking that would shame him, but it didn’t. Why he stopped short of an otherwise perfect job two seconds short of completion, he never did explain.

I came to various conclusions about the psychology of the ungrouted tile. I decided that whatever it meant, it went to the heart of our relationship. Solve the mystery of the ungrouted tile and you solve the mystery of the builder boyfriend and me.