The art of the sledge

‘Good morning, my name’s Cowdrey.’ England batsman Colin, later Lord Cowdrey, to the Australian fast bowler Jeff Thomson.

‘That’s not going to help you, fatso. Now piss off.’

Lord, who wrote those lines — was it Oscar Wilde? Noël Coward? Woody Allen, maybe? Or was it just a primordial example of sledging: the art and science of the cricketing insult?

Sledging is hot again as the Test series in South Africa against Australia reaches new heights of bad vibes. And when we’re getting moral lectures from David Warner — the Australian player who thumped the England player Joe Root in a bar for the unforgivable sin of wearing a joke wig on his chin — well, we know we’re faced with one of those fascinating moral puzzles.

Sledging? Etymology: an Australia cricketer was rebuked for swearing in front of a woman: ‘You’re as subtle as sledgehammer, mate.’ By extension the word became a slang term for on-field abuse of your opponents.