In Competition 2828 you were invited to submit a retrospective verse commentary on 2013. Reasons to be cheerful are, apparently, somewhat thin on the ground. Alanna Blake’s opening couplet captures the general mood of the entry:
The year is past, it’s maybe best
To let the poor thing lie at rest.
The arrival of a royal baby injected a more positive note, albeit leavened by a healthy dash of cynicism. Here’s Jerome Betts:
Yet still, you welcomed young Prince George,
A howling future Head of State,
Then let the media-vultures gorge
On shots of —Wow! — unweighty Kate
Commendations to Trish Davis and Chris O’Carroll, who were unlucky losers. The winners take £25 each and the bonus fiver belongs to Alan Millard. Happy New Year!
Firstly the weather (according to Twitter):
‘From bitter to better then wetter to bitter’;
In Westminster more of the same: caterwauling,
With all of the usual booing and bawling;
In Europe, resentment, with Britain backtracking
And Merkel embittered by telephone hacking;
In Royalty, annus mirabilis — joy
With Kate spared the Tower by bearing a boy;
In Olympics, a legacy ceasing to matter
With few of us fitter and most of us fatter;
But gays can be gay, with no reason to tarry
They’re able, at last, to be merry and marry;
And, soon to be girded in gaiters with crosier,
Women in collars face futures far rosier.
Cameron is premier, Francis is pope,
‘Heaven’s tomorrow,’ they promise. Let’s hope!
Alan Millard
Bitcoin rose, the Pope resigned,
Assad clung on, but Morsi fell,
George VII was born refined,
The Co-op nearly went to Hell,
The US government was stalled,
A nightclub burned up in Brazil,
Lady Thatcher’s name was called,
Tie Rack, Comet shut their till,
They found a deadly Sars-like virus,
Ukip graced opinion polls,
Twerking hyped up Miley Cyrus,
Ronaldo reached 300 goals,
Microsoft acquired Nokia,
One Direction found more fandom,
Lance confessed on Oprah, cockier:
These events are truly random.
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