That lovin’ feeling

In Competition No. 3035 you were invited to provide a poem entitled ‘The Love Song of [insert name of a well-known figure]’. There was no obligation to write in the style of Eliot, but a few brave souls did so. David Shields’s ‘Love Song of Kim Kardashian’ (‘I have measured out my life in selfie sticks…’) made me smile. Max Gutmann’s ‘Love Song of Larry Nassar’(‘In this room the gymnasts come and go/ Saying, “My injury’s not near my — oh!”’) made me wince.
 
High fives to Ralph Rochester, Nicholas Stone, Mike Morrison and Mike Greenhough. The winners take £25 each.

The Love Song of F. Ingvar Kamprad

Now that you’ve unpacked my heart
And checked that it’s complete,
It’s time for passion. You may start
By folding. Do not cheat.
 
Should you decide I suit your style —
Convenient, well-packed —
You might like this, well worth your while:
My replica, exact.
 
Efficiency’s emotion squared,
And repetition lust:
I think you’ll find we’re well-prepared:
I know you will adjust.