Ten handy phrases for bluffing your way through election night | 8 June 2017

Every year for the last four years we have had a referendum or a general election, and it’s exhausting. Journalists on TV are so tired that they can hardly be bothered to row with each other any more; they increasingly just grumble about the poverty of the candidates. But a good political bluffer never blames the playing surface; it’s bad form. There is still much gibberish to be spouted about GE 2017, just as there is in any election, and not much time left. So here are a few waffly yet significant sounding phrases to get you through for election day and night. Deploy them carefully and impress yourself.

1) Age is the new class. Declare this in an abrupt way, preferably interrupting somebody who is talking about the youth vote or asking why millennials so love Jeremy Corbyn. Then leave a pause while your audience drinks it in. If you feel like explaining, add: ‘The dividing line in politics used to be social status; now it is how old you are’, then make prognostications about the cost of housing and student debt.