Tarot isn’t very old or esoteric – but it does work

Among my many fake and useless skills, I’m a reasonably decent tarot reader. I can do one for you now if you like. A very simple three-card spread: your cards are the Seven of Wands, the Hierophant and the Six of Pentacles. There are lots of vaguely drippy ways of interpreting a three-card spread: past-present-future, or mind-body-spirit; I usually prefer to think of the cards as representing first, the mess you’re in; second, how you got there; and third, how you might plausibly manage to get your way out. And you, reader, are in a bit of a mess.

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 If you look up the Seven of Wands online or in a book, you’ll discover that it’s about struggle and difficulty; it means you’re constantly defending yourself from various envious rivals, all trying to tear down whatever it is you’ve achieved. The image shows a man on a hill, fighting off a thicket of jabbing sticks that seem to emerge from underground. The Hierophant depicts a figure in Papal regalia, seated on a throne; it stands for order, orthodoxy, conformism and tradition. In the Six of Pentacles, there’s a rich merchant dropping coins over the beggars that kneel at his feet. It stands – no surprises here – for generosity. The meaning seems obvious. You’ve found yourself constantly under attack; this is because you’re too hidebound and conservative; maybe they’ll lay off you if you start giving some of your money away. You’re a Spectator reader. It all makes sense.

 But what I really like about tarot are the meanings you can’t look up online or in a book. In an actual reading, your first task is always to study the cards, really look at the pictures and think about what they might mean.