Tanya Gold eats suckling pig at Le Café Anglais

I write this column at the point of a pitchfork. A, normally so placid — ‘He’s so placid!’ people like to say as he wanders around placidly — has cracked. He is standing over me with what I can only describe as violent placidity, gesticulating at an email from Le Café Anglais, a very smart restaurant in Whiteleys, Bayswater, established in 2007; it is run by Rowley Leigh, who A says writes very witty recipes. ‘Suckling pig,’ it says, ‘Suckling pig. Suckling pig. Suckling pig. Suckling pig. Suckling pig.’ Of course it doesn’t actually say that; it is a notification that Le Café Anglais now does suckling pig every Tuesday. But that is all he can see: suckling pig, suckling pig, suckling pig. At times like this, I wonder at the internal furniture of his brain. His ancestors are calling — it is like The Vikings, but sitting down in a bonfire of pigs.