Now, children, are you all sitting comfortably? Good, then I’ll begin.
Now, children, are you all sitting comfortably? Good, then I’ll begin. Once upon a time, not so very long ago, the lady who directed the first Twilight film (Catherine Hardwicke) decided it would be a good idea to turn the traditional story of Red Riding Hood into a teen horror/fantasy thriller and no one thought to stop her which, children, is what happens when you already have one box-office hit under your belt. ‘Yes, yes!’ everyone probably said, before offering to park her car. At no point did anyone say, ‘But, Catherine! What lousy ideas you have!’ There is a lesson in here somewhere, children, if only I could think what it was.
So the film was made, and this is the film, and we like a turkey, don’t we, children? We like a big fat turkey we can dance around, crowingly, don’t we? Haven’t we had a lot of fun doing that over the years? But this is such a dismal runt of a turkey it would probably have been kinder to strangle it at birth.
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