Socialism, wrote George Orwell, has often had a habit of attracting posh cranks. He witheringly described the ‘sandal-wearers and bearded fruit-juice drinkers who come knocking towards the smell of “progress” like bluebottles to a dead cat’.
Even though Starmer’s Labour has all but dropped the s-word, fully embracing its role as the party of the new elites, its electoral triumph certainly has been a boon to scolds and irritants. All the worst, most meddlesome factions in British public life appear to have been emboldened by this government. Woke censors? Tick. Nanny statists? Alarmingly so. And of course there’s the environmentalists, who clearly see in Labour their best chance for eco-immiseration in our lifetime.
And wait until you hear what he wants to feed those poor youngsters. Grass
Enter Dale Vince, green entrepreneur and major Labour donor. Alongside backing all of Ed Miliband’s insane net zero policies, Vince also wants schools to go vegan. Speaking at a fringe event at Labour party conference this week, he proudly declared his intention to use his significant sway over the government – he has donated more than £5million; though, unusually for Labour, it was in cash rather than natty, colourful trouser suits – to lobby for schools to be able to serve vegan-only meals.
According to existing guidance, schools must offer a ‘wide range of foods across the week’, including ‘a portion of meat or poultry on three or more days each week’. Naturally, this enrages Vince, who thinks schools must have the freedom to embrace a ‘plant-based’ menu in order to ‘save the planet’. He not only thinks veganism is healthier – a hotly contested claim, especially where kids are concerned – but that giving pupils the option of a bit of grilled chicken is almost abuse. ‘We shouldn’t be forcing these unhealthy products on to our kids’, he said.
Given all the discussion these past few weeks about moneybags Labour donors and what they might be looking for in return, I probably wouldn’t have advised Vince to take this opportunity to brag about how he intends to wield his influence over the government. Incidentally, he also let slip that his Devil’s Kitchen business already supplies vegan food to ‘one in four’ primary schools. Perhaps he’s hoping for more business.
And wait until you hear what he wants to feed those poor youngsters. Grass. Apparently, it’s the next big source of plant-based protein that his team has been quietly developing. ‘We set out to extract human edible protein from the grass and we’ve cracked that now, which is good for food safety approval’, he told the meeting. It ‘takes the form of a powder or granules’. Delicious!
I fear this odd party conference is setting the tone for this Labour government. It looks like we’re in for economic bitter medicine with a side of green hectoring and public-health puritanism. Rachel Reeves foghorning about the ‘fiscal black hole’, while Dale Vince bangs on about pulses and Wes Streeting confiscates your pint glass. The cranks have taken control.
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