In Competition No. 2436 you were invited to supply a very rude letter in which the writer terminates the services of an employee, tradesman or professional person.
The most successfully rude letter ever written is surely Dr Johnson’s to Lord Chesterfield with its superb combination of sarcasm and sorrow: ‘Is not a patron, my lord, one who looks with unconcern on a man struggling for life in the water, and when he has reached ground encumbers him with help?’ For the curious, Max Beerbohm’s samples of very rude letters can be found in the essay ‘How shall I word it?’ in And Even Now. ‘Even Jehovah’s witnesses avoid our door.’ ‘You have the dress sense of a Rutland scarecrow.’ ‘You are to PR what Karl Marx was to landscape gardening.’ ‘Your inability even to carry a spear convincingly takes lack of talent to new depths.’ With your insults ringing in my ears I award the prizewinners, printed below, £25 each and hand the bonus fiver to Hugh King.
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