Status Anxiety: Like Prince Andrew, I stand by my dodgy mates

I find it hard not to feel sorry for the Duke of York. Being asked to denounce one’s friends, however unsavoury, can’t be much fun. It must be particularly galling when the politicians insisting on this act of obeisance were themselves hobnobbing with Hosni Mubarak, Zine-al-Abidine and Colonel Gaddafi until about a week ago. In the Duke’s defence, I don’t see why people in public life should be forced to hold their friends to a higher standard than the rest of us. Prince Andrew is no more responsible for the behaviour of Jeffrey Epstein than Boris Johnson is for Darius Guppy’s.

I can pinpoint the exact moment Sean Langan became my best friend. It was at William Ellis and we were in the Sixth Form Common Room about to head out for coffee. I was the new boy, having joined the school a few months earlier, and had already had my card marked as a bit of a weirdo.