About a year ago, I appeared on Watchdog to discuss identity fraud. A researcher for the programme had managed to become a ‘friend’ of mine via Facebook and, as a result, now had access to personal information that would enable her to impersonate me. For instance, she could apply for a credit card in my name and run up huge debts that I would be liable for. Was I not horrified to discover just how vulnerable I was to this type of crime?
‘Actually, no,’ I said. ‘The thing is, I want people to start going round impersonating me. Having people pretend to be you is a sign that you’ve arrived in our society.’
I was being provocative, obviously. With over 58 million Britons to choose from — eight million of whom are on Facebook — why would a fraudster bother to impersonate me? Surely, he or she would be better off choosing someone with no public profile at all just in case the person they were attempting to fool happened to be familiar with my unique appearance? (‘A peeled plover’s egg dipped in celery salt,’ according to my cousin Consuelo.)
Well, it has finally happened. According to last week’s Mail on Sunday (‘How to Steal Watches and Alienate Toby’), a young man has been posing as me in an attempt to pilfer luxury watches. Apparently, he has been contacting the PRs for various upmarket watch manufacturers and claiming he needs to road-test their merchandise for an article he is writing for Tatler. So far, he has managed to obtain two Versace watches.
Should I be flattered? On one level, yes. If the fraudster was posing as me in person, that would be a little insulting since he would be assuming the PRs in question had no idea what I looked like.

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