Status Anxiety | 5 September 2009

With four children under six, flying anywhere for the annual summer holiday has become prohibitively expensive, so for the past five years we’ve been going to Cornwall.

With four children under six, flying anywhere for the annual summer holiday has become prohibitively expensive, so for the past five years we’ve been going to Cornwall. The upshot is that I am now an expert when it comes to renting holiday cottages. I have rented big ones, small ones, cheap ones and expensive ones, and I’ve come to the following conclusion: wherever possible, go gay.

I don’t mean that the owners of the cottage should be gay, though that probably helps. I mean the cottage should cater to homosexual couples. When it comes to things like home furnishings, tablewear and bathroom fittings, their standards are so much higher than anyone else’s. It’s the difference between being in a Woody Allen film and a Mike Leigh movie.