A new twist on an old favourite. Question: How many ministers/blondes/psychiatrists (feel free to fill in the social stereotype of your choice) does it take to change an old-fashioned 100-watt light bulb? Answer: None.
From 1 September the joke will have become redundant due to the fact there won’t be any traditional light bulbs left to change.
The European Union has banned the sale of incandescent bulbs in order to slash energy bills and cut carbon dioxide emissions. This is an act which will force us all to become eco-warriors or, if we don’t comply, law-breakers. Under the European Directive, from next week manufacturers in Europe are legally not allowed to sell the banned bulbs to retailers. Eight months ago, when leading shops implemented a voluntary ban, it triggered an unexpected frenzy of manic hoarding. So unless house owners have successfully stockpiled the old Osrams, they now have no alternative but to switch to a greener, fluorescent variety of bulb.
I have to confess I’m not a happy camper about being forced to enter the Twilight Zone. I will not go gentle into that good night, I shall rage, rage against the dying of the light, and I can’t believe I’m alone in taking a dim view of this new edict.
Not only are these fluorescent and low-energy halogen bulbs aesthetically hideous; they also seem to operate with a constant flicker. They fail to do what they say they’ll do on the box — namely, allow one to see. This observation is not just a figment of my imagination. When my husband dutifully jumped the gun three months ago and replaced the old bulbs in our sitting-room with the new, low-energy CFLs (compact fluorescent lights) I started to display worrying symptoms of Seasonally Affective Disorder (SAD).

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