Spectator writers in lockdown – by the people stuck with them

Andrew Watts (Tanya Gold)

‘I can’t eat this,’ said The Spectator’s restaurant critic, putting down her fork after one mouthful. Our son, who had not yet decided whether he liked mackerel, immediately declared that it was yucky-poo. The correction of taste is, after all, the function of criticism. When we’re not in lockdown, Tanya leaves the house to be a critic. I am left at home with the boy to eat fish, liver and haggis, all of which he loves when she isn’t here to tell him that they are, objectively, bad. I wouldn’t mind if she hadn’t gone straight from the kitchen table to sit in her study and eat Monster Munch while watching Spooks. Or if she hadn’t been the one who sent me out to buy mackerel from a fisherman offering it for sale by the quay because the fish markets had closed. Or if I could get back the time I spent watching YouTube videos on how to fillet mackerel.