Spectator competition winners: Whenas in jorts my Julia goes

Competitors were invited to supply their own nine-line twist on Robert Herrick’s ‘Upon Julia’s clothes’:

Whenas in silks my Julia goes Then, then, methinks, how sweetly flows That liquefaction of her clothes.

Next, when I cast mine eyes and see That brave vibration each way free, O how that glittering taketh me!

In a large and somewhat raucous entry, Herrick’s 17th-century restraint was cast aside in favour of full-on 21st-century vulgarity. Honourable mentions go to Basil Ransome-Davies, John Whitworth and Josh Ekroy. The winners, printed below, take £15 each.

Jerome Betts Whenas in shorts my Julia plays A set or two on summer days I think of Herrick’s, who wore stays.

If in a skirt, it’s not that long And struggles to conceal the thong Unknown in Robert’s verse or song.

White hairless legs, below the knees? With us, much more is viewed with ease Than when he wrote Hesperides.

Frank Osen Whenas in jorts my Julia goes, I note she’s sporting camel toes.