Spectator competition winners: twisting poetry classics

The recent invitation to write a poem that begins with the first line or two lines of a well-known poem but then takes off in a new and unexpected direction produced another mammoth postbag. Both Sid Field and W.J. Webster remembered Adlestrop as a rather unusual character from school, and George Simmers used the opening line of Wordsworth’s sonnet ‘Composed upon Westminster Bridge, September 3, 1802’ as a springboard into an orgy of oily self-justification courtesy of Sepp Blatter. Commendations also go to Katie Mallett, Jack Diamond, Martin Parker, Virginia Price Evans and Bill Greenwell. It was an exceptionally crowded field this week and the winners below fought off strong competition to take £20 each. Basil Ransome-Davies pockets the bonus fiver.

Basil Ransome-Davies What is this life if, full of care, We’ve skid marks in our underwear Like script on cabalistic scrolls To trace the passage of our souls?

The chthonic streaks, the karmic smears Stir to the surface latent fears Of Hell for acolytes of sleaze Who stain their pristine BVDs.

To crack these runic secrets might Disclose an everlasting night, A sulphuretted pit of doom, The horror in the laundry room.

If unhygienically we choose To overlook our moral dues, We cannot wipe away our sin.