Spectator competition winners: ’Twas the night before Brexit…

This year’s Christmas challenge was to compose a poem entitled ‘’Twas the Night Before Brexit’. That seasonal classic ‘A Visit From St Nicholas’, more usually known as ‘The Night Before Christmas’, was published anonymously in 1823 and written by Clement Clarke Moore — or at least he claimed it was. The family of gentleman-poet Henry Livingston Jr later contended that he was the author, and the controversy rumbles on. Despite the potentially uncheery theme, you came up with some pleasingly diverse crackers, which are printed below and earn their authors £30 each. All that remains is to thank you all, veterans and newcomers alike, for your terrifically witty and well made entries over the past 12 months. I look forward to many more in the year ahead. Merry Christmas!

Bill Greenwell ’Twas the night before Brexit, and all through the land The leavers strung bunting, and primed their brass band, With The Gover in Dover, his snook cocked and sterling, And Boris in Morris gear, hanky unfurling, While weaseler Gisela dreamed of saving the groat, And Farage was massaging Old Stoat in his throat – As Jacob the Mogg gave his sprogs British bangers, And Truss drove the bus while she juggled some clangers.