Spectator competition winners: tourist misinformation

In Competition No. 3224, you were invited to submit snippets of misleading advice either for tourists visiting Britain or for British tourists travelling abroad.

You normally embrace this challenge with mischievous relish but this time around the mood felt somewhat muted, perhaps not surprising under the circumstances. There were plenty of zingers all the same, and as usual those with a ring of plausibility worked best.

Several of you submitted permutations on this one, from Janine Beacham: ‘It’s traditional to picnic on the lawns at Oxford University, so pack a basket. The grass is maintained specially to encourage visitors’; and on David Shields’s ‘When travelling on the Underground, it is considered polite to make prolonged eye contact with each of your fellow passengers in turn.’ There were also many variations on Mark Ambrose’s ‘Foreigners don’t have to queue. Just wave your passport above your head and proceed to the front of the queue, but remember to smile.’