Lucy Vickery

Spectator competition winners: the novels you will never read

[Photo: SIphotography] 
issue 20 March 2021

In Competition No. 3190 you were invited to submit the first paragraph of your least favourite type of novel.

Sci-fi was the most well represented genre by a long way, with many thinking along similar lines. Here’s a flavour from Joe Houlihan:

Not for the first time, Drod Vordant was struck by the ethereal beauty of the Butterfly Nebula. Even at 178.4 light years distance the clouds of silicate and poly-aromatic-hydrocarbon dust that formed its wings occupied three quadrants of the ship’s astrodeck…

In a smart, funny entry, hardboiled–hater Robert Schechter stood out (‘The phone rang on my rented desk like the bell on the neck of an epileptic cow…’), as did excellent contributions from Alan Millard, Barry Baldwin, Nick MacKinnon and George Simmers. The winners take £25 each.

Looking back, Pedro Garcia Cicuendez could still remember those childhood years when he could fly.

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