The latest challenge, to compose sonnets containing household tips, saw you on sparkling form and there were plenty of stylish, inventive entries to choose from.
I was riveted by your recommendations and hope to put some of them to the test, though I might just take John Whitworth’s word for it: (‘Prick sausages and they will never burst./ A pint of piss will slake a raging thirst.’)
Commendations go to David Silverman, Joseph Conlon, Jennifer Moore, Fiona Pitt-Kethley and A.H. Harker. The winners earn £20 each. Basil Ransome-Davies trousers £25.
Basil Ransome-Davies A healthy dose of vinegar will clean Your windows and wipe porn smears off your screen. A saucer makes a handy weapon if You need to finish a domestic tiff. You overdo the vodka or the gin? Dump all the empties in your neighbour’s bin. Old copies of the Daily Mail will do For visitors who badly need the loo, And anti-orthopaedic chairs for guests Whom you regard as knuckle-dragging pests.
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