Spectator competition winners: poems for St George in Bono-metrics

In Competition No. 3244, you were invited to submit a poem to mark St George’s Day that rivals in awfulness the one Bono recently penned for St Paddy. As Sam Leith wrote, in a terrifically funny and instructive piece, Bono’s offering was ‘technically incompetent to a degree that constituted an insult to the very craft of verse’. So that was what you were aiming for.

In a large and mischievous entry, there were nods aplenty to the U2 front man, both in content (‘snakes’) and form (limerick). Dishonourable mentions go to Jenny Pearson, R.M. Goddard, Brian Murdoch, Basil Ransome-Davies, Carolyn Beckingham and Roger Rengold. The winners, printed below, pocket £25 each.

Our greatest day, you all have I’m sure heard, Has got to be April the 23rd: ’Cause it’s St George’s Day, I’m telling you; It’s Shakespeare’s – did you know this? – birthday too.   Like Boris full was George of chivalry, Like Boris he wanted us to be free; And just as Boris recently was sayin’, We love freedom like people in Ukraine.