Spectator competition winners: misleading advice for tourists

The latest challenge, to supply snippets of mischievously/sadistically misleading advice for foreign tourists visiting Britain, or for British ones travelling abroad, is one that you always embrace with relish, though one competitor observed that it felt curiously difficult this time round because ‘the interaction between Britain and Abroad isn’t very funny just at the moment’. That may well be true, but your entries still raised a chuckle, and as usual those with a ring of plausibility worked best. There was a fair amount of repetition: popular tips included the desirability of introducing Brexit into conversation at the earliest opportunity, the inadvisability of tipping black cab drivers and the National Gallery’s love of selfies. There was also the reappearance of old favourites: The first drink in a pub is on the house; toast the landlord by raising your glass with the traditional ‘Up Yours!’ (John Whitworth); The English countryside has many quaint rural activities.