Spectator competition winners: Donald Trump’s ‘The Book of Moron’

The idea for the latest competition came courtesy of Steven Joseph, who suggested that I invite competitors to change a letter in the title of a well-known play and submit a programme note for the new production. David Silverman’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Deaf started well but ran out of steam rather halfway through. Other promising titles that didn’t quite deliver included The Cheery Orchard, A Waste of Honey and The Wind in the Pillows. And no one, regrettably, did justice to The Bugger’s Opera. I admired A.H. Harker’s Cook Back in Anger — ‘an intense investigation of the stresses that competitors in Bake Off and Masterchef bring to their home lives…As they return unsuccessfully from their respective heats to the intimacy of their own kitchen the social gulf between Jimmy and Alison is accentuated by his attempts to perfect lardy-cake while she sees how high she can pile spiralised cucumber’ — and John O’Byrne’s Absurd Parson Singular.