Spectator competition winners: Boris Johnson’s diplomatic limericks

The latest challenge called for limericks that might have been written by Boris Johnson in an attempt to smooth ruffled feathers on the international stage. Boris himself has said that ‘it would really take me too long to engage in a fully global itinerary of apology’ to all those who have taken offence at comments he’s made over the past 30 years. But that’s OK because you were on hand to do it for him. Olive branches were proffered to, among others, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Hillary Clinton, the Chinese people and the citizens of Papua New Guinea, though I was dis-appointed that nobody felt moved to pen an emollient rhyme to the 10-year-old Japanese schoolboy mown down by Johnson in a street rugby match on a visit to Tokyo last year. The winners below are rewarded with £10 per limerick printed.

Bill Greenwell When I meet dear Hills, I will gulp a Me paenitet, o mea culpa.