Spectator competition winners: ‘And did those tweets…’

The latest challenge was to compose an updated version of ‘Jerusalem’ starting with the words ‘And did those tweets…’ One of my favourite parodies of Blake’s poem is by Allan M. Laing. In it he describes the wartime blackouts:

Bring me my torch of waning power! Bring me my phosphor button bright! Bring me my stick — O dreadful hour! That brings the darkness of the night!

Laing was a colossus of literary competitions, who, V.S. Pritchett tells us, ‘has won more first prizes in newspaper competitions than any other man in England. Never has a man enclosed stamped and addressed envelopes for reply with greater effect.’ His 21st-century successors — veterans and newcomers alike — continue to shine and in a crowded and lively field this week honourable mentions go to Nicholas Stone, David Silverman, Brian Murdoch, Ian Barker and Nick Vasey. The winners, printed below, are rewarded with £25 each.

Adrian Fry And did those tweets of febrile Trump Talk of a Brexit hard and clean? And was the whole Remoaner rump Still fearful of what Out might mean? And did the crapulous Walloons And Germans scoff from far away? Well, we shall drink in Wetherspoons Come Corbyn or, indeed, what May.

Bring us our pints of nut-brown ale! Bring us the bar snacks we desire! Bring us this day our Daily Mail, Raising our spirits and our ire.