Spectator competition: when El Greco was pissed on prosecco and Bosch got nude in Bude (plus: three-letter word poems)

The call for limericks featuring a well-known artist and a destination of your choice was prompted by one that Robert Conquest wrote about Paul Gauguin:

When Gauguin was visiting Fiji He said things are different here, e.g. While Tahitian skin Calls for tan spread on thin You must slosh it on here with a squeegee.

Brian Allgar had this to say to Mr Conquest:

Mr Conquest, your limerick’s cheaty — Stop writing mendacious graffiti! In Fiji? What rot, For the tropical spot Where Paul Gauguin arrived was Tahiti.

It was a record-breaking entry size-wise and there was oodles of wit, skill and originality on display (though I lost count of the number of times ‘Giotto’ was rhymed with ‘blotto’). Jill Green, David Cram, Paul Evans, Caroline Palmer, Andrew Duncan-Jones and Geoff Neden only just missed the cut. The entries below earn their authors £10 each.

Chris O’Carroll In New Mexico, Georgia O’Keefe Found dry bones, stark sun, and relief From the Freudian gang With their thing for her thang And their eyes on her floral motif.

Sylvia Smith On a tour of St Peter’s in Rome, Van Gogh told the guide in the Dome: ‘Roman friend, I can’t hear; Could you lend me your ear? I seem to have left mine at home.’

George Simmers While staying in Venice, El Greco Got thoroughly pissed on prosecco.