Spectator Competition: Swifties 

In Competition 3358 you were invited to submit a passage in which Gulliver travels to a Taylor Swift concert and recounts his impressions. By and large it was felt that he would succumb to fandom, though a few were more sceptical – George Simmers found him observing: ‘Of all the Laputan scientists none received more acclaim than the philosopher who had devised a scheme for the infinite accumulation of money. I asked how this was achieved and was told, cryptically, “Merch.”’ There were a lot of very lively entries, and those printed below win £25.

Despair had almost overcome me after three days at sea, but on the fourth morning I spied a strange shore and made for it with the last of my effort. Little did I know that after painful years of travel I had found the land of angels. I would call it Heaven, but its true name is Erastour.