Spectator Competition: Suite memories

In Competition 3376, prompted by news that avocado bathrooms are back in vogue, you were invited to compose poems about interior decor trends of yesteryear. Reading them, bubble chairs and spider plants swam before my eyes. Jane Smillie’s list deserves a mention:

Artex and lava lamps, bamboo and tie dye,
Pop art and sideboards and stereo hi-fi,
LP racks and shagpile and chakra batik,
These are what passed for Seventies chic.

As does David Blakey’s light verse:

That rocket lamp’s no longer mine.
I can’t remember what I did.
But I’ve seen one for sale online
For almost seven hundred quid.

There was a suggestion of Betjeman in many of the entries (‘Are the requisites all in the toilet?’). Among other noteworthies were Jayne Osborn, Tracy Davidson, C. Paul Evans, Max Ross, Elizabeth Kay. The winners get £25.

Come friendly bombs and fall, defile
This bedroom’s shaggy orange pile,
This tiki bar, this benchtop tile,
Macramé owls!

Oh, white-etched mirror on the wall,
This jungle room’s the worst of all,
Brown velvet chairs, cheese-fondue hall,
Lime-flowered towels.