Spectator competition: redefine ‘oolite’ and ‘ampthill’ (plus: your meaningless proverbs)

The latest call, for proverbs that sound profound but have no meaning, attracted an enormous entry. It was a pleasure to judge, and cheering, too, to see lots of unfamiliar names in among the regulars. The best entries contain just the promise of a profound meaning — but frustrate the reader’s attempt to work out exactly what it is. I tried to weed out those submissions (some of them very amusing) that did express a clearly discernible deeper truth, but some may have slipped through the net. The following competitors deserve an honourable mention: ‘The shallow puddle floods no meadows’ (D.A. Prince); ‘A circular argument cannot be broken’ (Barry Baldwin); ‘People in glass houses should put their kaftans on’ (Tessa Maude); ‘Never play chess with snooker balls’ (Dr J.D. Renwick); ‘Never underestimate big numbers’ (Nigel Grigg); ‘It’s a weak proverb that hasn’t got something to say’ (John O’Byrne); ‘Even Adam and Eve were not forbidden to eat a pickled onion’ (Brian Murdoch); ‘Wit needs no disguise’ (Michael Jones); ‘A cauliflower is a vegetable but a sweet pea is not’ (Alanna Blake).