Spectator Competition: Plum assignment

In Competition 3375 you were invited to submit an extract in which P.G. Wodehouse had a go at writing Raymond Chandler noir. Sad – and perhaps slightly pedantic – to report, quite a few entrants got this the wrong way round, writing Wodehouse’s material in a Chandler style, with references to hot dames at the Drones club etc. Some of these were admittedly very good but as The Spectator takes a stern line on the importance of reading the question, the following win £25 each.

‘Well done helping me sort that one out, Jeeves. The cops have arrested the chap with the face like an off-colour watermelon, and so Lydia won’t be going to the chair. More to the point, she seems to have given up on the idea that we are engaged.’

‘I gather that her affections are now directed towards Inspector Krenk of the Pasadena Police Department, sir. I heard her remarking to him that the stars were God’s diamond choker.