Spectator Competition: Our kid

In Competition 3367 you were invited to write a formal poem about the Brothers Gallagher (Noel and Liam). This comp was set before we had quite reached Oasis saturation point; possibly we’re beyond that now. There were more entries than usual and they were roughly equally split between those that expressed great joy at the reunion and those that weren’t even remotely bothered. A shout-out to Brian Murdoch, Bob Newman and Edmund Carver – and the winners below get £25.

When minstrel knyghtes forst gan maken melodye,

Two brother knyghtes, each of grete envyé,

Sire Noel, eldeste, meek, a gentil knyghte,

Sire Liam, yonge, a cur who loved a fyghte,

Abusioned lutes in every shire’s ende,

Of Engelond, where’er they wende,

To slaght hir rank ballads: yet alacke, one nighte,

Sire Noel struck his brother with grete mighte.

Upon his noggin with a lute ful brute,

And thus did breake hir bonde, and put hir noyse on mute.

For fifteen winters, bitter were hir layes,

Moping and moaning in grete drunken daze,

Till that Sire Noel took his brother by the honde,

And quoth, ‘Methinks there’s coin in our old bonde.