Spectator Competition: Contrarian song

For Competition 3390 you were invited to come up with your own version of the Groucho Marx song ‘I’m Against It’, from the film Horse Feathers:

Your proposition may be good

But let’s have one thing understood:

Whatever it is, I’m against it.

Hats off to David Silverman, who got into specifics: (‘Conniving, skiving; Mo Salah diving;/ Texting while driving/ VAR’).