In Competition No. 3111 you were invited to submit William Topaz McGonagall’s poetic response to Magaluf.
The Tayside Tragedian was much taken with the town of Torquay, and wrote a poem singing its praises. But what would he have made of Shagaluf? He took a dim view of alcohol, if these lines are anything to go by:
Oh, thou demon Drink, thou fell destroyer;
Thou curse of society, and its greatest annoyer.
What hast thou done to society, let me think?
I answer thou hast caused the most of ills, thou demon Drink.
Some of you clearly reckon, though, that beneath the teetotal, God-fearing façade lay something altogether wilder. Over to the winners, who pocket £35 each.
Let me invoke my muse to describe and explain
What a wonderful town there exists on an island of Spain,
Where in general the natives speak Spanish
And visitors can make their troubles vanish,
Thanks to the magnificent Spanish sense of hospitality
And famous, hot-blooded Latin vitality.
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