Sorry, Ken, but even I know you can’t say that

This week I thought I would offer advice on the sort of things one can and cannot say in public without fear of censure. I realise that I may not be the most obvious person, at this moment in time, to offer such a service. Maybe even the last person. But one has to plough away, give help where it might be needed. And in this particular case, to our Justice Secretary, Kenneth Harry Clarke.

So Ken — here’s the last thing you should ever say in public. You should never, ever, as a suffix to a statement, make the claim: ‘And most women agree with me.’ We’ve got to be clear about this: you should never say it even if the statement to which it relates is anodyne and blankly factual, as in, ‘Chives are a bulb-forming herbaceous perennial — and most women agree with me.’ Or, ‘It is a little over 120 miles from Norwich to Towcester — and most women agree with me.’