Steerpike Steerpike

Sorry, Britain didn’t vote for the Austrian ‘Bearded Lady’

There has been plenty of progressive backslapping this morning because Britain was one of the many countries to award the full 12 points to the bearded Austrian drag act Conchita Wurst in Saturday night’s Eurovision Song Contest. We showed those bigots over in Eastern Europe and Russia a thing or two, the chatterati say.

Mr S hates to be a party-pooper, but he has news for you. The British public actually voted for some Polish girls in milkmaid outfits, seductively churning butter and cleaning clothes.

The Polish ladies were very self-confident, if a little old fashioned:

‘We’re Slavic girls
We know how to use our charming beauty
Now, shake what your mama gave ya!’

The blushes of our progressive elite were spared by the suspiciously complex voting system. There is a 50/50 split between unelected and unaccountable judges and the votes of the public; Poland topped the UK’s public voting tally, but were awarded zero points by the UK overall because the unelected judges ranked Poland 25th.

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