Michael Simmons

Sobriety isn’t worth it

issue 20 January 2024

Michael Simmons has narrated this article for you to listen to.

Absolutely nobody feels better at the end of Dry January. Mornings are still a struggle, you’re as tired as ever, and if anything the neurotic voice in your head is even louder. Yes, you may have gone to the gym every Sunday, but how has your life improved? It hasn’t.

My own Dry January was forced on me by antibiotics. Though the NHS guidelines said the pills are alcohol compatible, my doctor (who has a record of my alcohol intake) took the liberty of writing ‘NO alcohol’ followed by five exclamation marks. This has allowed me to experience sobriety firsthand.

The main findings from my time on the wagon were pretty depressing: the low level of simmering anxiety that starts when you take your first tentative steps into the pub and subsides approximately a quarter of the way into your first pint just persists for the entirety of a sober night.

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