Should I grow old gracefully – or disgracefully?

Now that I’m about to turn 70, I’m wondering: shall I grow old gracefully, or disgracefully? Everyone I know, young and old, tells me that I must go disgracefully (and that’s how they plan to go, or so they say). It seems that growing old gracefully has gone out of style – especially for women – but maybe it’s time for a revival?

What’s the difference between the two? Growing older gracefully is about letting go of the pleasures of youth – sex, drugs, rock ’n’ roll or whatever vice you prefer – for the more restrained and dignified delights of maturity. You dress, act and talk in an age-appropriate way. No trainers. No jeans. No attempts at appearing young.

And no fun either, or so the school of growing old disgracefully would claim. They believe in rebelling against received ideas of how an older person should look and act. It’s all about not acting your age. After a life of doing right and responsible things, you can now let your hair down – if you have any left. Passion takes over from propriety; you embrace your inner eccentric, you act on impulse, you surrender to the iron fist of whim – and family and friends be damned!

On Amazon you will find dozens of titles on the joys and art of growing old disgracefully. They range from funny loo books to serious self-help guides. Typical is the book by Rohan Candappa that promises to show you ‘How to upset and perplex your children with increasingly erratic and unreasonable behaviour’. I’ve yet to find a book that will show me how to act my age.

It would be a gross exaggeration to suggest that we’re becoming a nation of disgraceful grannies and feral granddads.