In Competition No. 2783 you were invited to submit a short story entitled ‘Death of a Ladies’ Man’. The title — shared by an unadmired, Phil Spector-produced album by Leonard Cohen and an as-yet-unproduced screenplay by the literary and erudite rocker Nick Cave — connects two of pop music’s masters of melancholy.
Rock music didn’t feature in the entry but ladies lavatories loomed large. You also drew inspiration from history — Henry VIII, Lord Byron — and from the natural world.
Sid Field, Lynn Haken, Juliet Walker, Alan Millard and John MacRitchie earn honourable mentions. The prizewinners, printed below, take £25 each except Frank McDonald, who has £30.
He was born to be infatuated by the opposite sex. Though he made all the right moves, as he saw it, they never let him have his heart’s desire. In fact he had never even come close. He was no slouch, often working round the clock and earning a reputation as a fine craftsman, a builder par excellence. He would signal when ladies passed by but nothing ever came of it …till that day.
She was gorgeous and obviously interested. Work could wait. He got down and followed her. As usual he said all the right things. Before long he was in the situation of his dreams and he would not disappoint, even though it was his first time. God, she knew how to drive him to a frenzy of pleasure. He lay back exhausted. Then, true to her nature, she ate him.
Frank McDonald
Dan, although always a loner, had campaigned vigorously for equal rights, and it was ironic that in his own profession he had long been prevented by the rankest gender discrimination from realising his full management potential. He fought at council level and beyond, but only after the appeal to the European Court of Human Rights did he achieve his goal, full control of the most significant location in the entire Arndale Centre.
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