It didn’t occur to Cameron that White Van Man might be trying to pat him on the back
Ah, the chaos there must have been on Planet Cameron every time that Dylan Jones was due for another chat. The editor of GQ writing a book about their man. Which anecdotes to tell? Which to leave out? The tension! The half-drunk Innocent smoothies! The half-smoked Marlboro Lights! He’s not Piers Morgan, but nobody wants to drop a Clegg.
Flunkies in panic. ‘Samantha being a Goth! That’s got to go in! It’s edgy, it’s funny, it suggests you might have pulled a wild one. Grrr! And that teenage stuff about meeting Mick Jagger. Very humble, very Blair. And also, ooh I know, Dave, how about that time when that bloke in the white van tried to knock you off your bike? It’s the Broken Society, innit? Your big thing. Thugs! Hoodies! That geezer wanted you dead!’
Etc.
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